I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
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