dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize
