I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
Randomize
