That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
