Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
I love black thongs
Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
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