he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
operation have a gay friend backfired
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize