if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
your like the ambassador to my penis.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
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