Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
I think i sorta joined a cult last night
So called my VP's house on Sunday drunk and told him that if he didn't hire me for the new position I would skull fuck his wife. They asked me to go home today. Thanks again Vodka
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize
