In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
My bed smells like the plague
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
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