so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
Randomize
