stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
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