Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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