yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
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