I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
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