When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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