Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Randomize
