If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize
