he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
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