It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
I am available for nakedness
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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