I just cut my nipple shaving
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
Is her dick bigger than yours?
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