the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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