There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
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