I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
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