i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
