I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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