kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
