Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
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