He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
Randomize