we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
Randomize
