I should be sponsored by Trojan
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
