just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
Randomize
