The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
they call him Oral-B. enough said
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
Randomize
