I hope mine doesn't look like that
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
Randomize
