During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
Randomize
