i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
Randomize
