She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
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