Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
Just made out with a pet sitter. His biz card says "even hamsters". Lowest point in my life.
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
