Don't you send me to vm
Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
