I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Randomize
