Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
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