I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
Randomize
