They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
