WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
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