i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
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