i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
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