I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Randomize
