I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
I am midnight drunk by noon
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
Randomize