You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
she smelled like a LAN party
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
