At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
I want to be your penis for a week.
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
Randomize
