i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
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