I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Randomize
