I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
Randomize
