just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
do nipples grow back?
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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