yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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