dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
