help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
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