Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
I'm getting married
To pizza
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