ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
I'm really busy with my period
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