I forgot how hot balto sounded
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
Everyone says I win the strip club
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
My feet surprised me
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